Or does this sound more like a conscious choice he's making not to get invested in this. I have read half of all the comments and decided to skip the rest. Basically nothing like reality.
I was in your same position years ago. Whenever you bring something up, they'll say if it's not on lds. Earlier I mentioned "Even if the church believes a bunch of crazy nonsense, and she believes it too, I still really like her and would like to see whether we can have some good intellectual conversations about this stuff. I find that I walk on egg shells when he is home. I hope I can forgive it someday, but even still my anger is red hot. He also brought up issues with the church when we discussed religion so slowly he brought to light some disturbing facts and even though I would have denied it, it got to me.
I am lucky that I am not yet married to him, hence i have a choice to decide. Also, I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you with that guy: I'm sure you will meet someone else that's just as wonderful but treats you better if you haven't yet. Word to the wise, wait a day or two. She encourages me to develop my skills and talents, and provides an example in several of those areas. Like, she thought that serving would remedy her of any doubts or testimony issues. So I am getting myself ready.
She is probably thinking she can convert you if she is with you long enough and is a good enough example. When he doesn't have his patience he has his family who seem more and more to have self inflicted issues they gamble, drink and smoke which lead to health issues and bills. The Church encourages people to be a good influence on one another, and she will probably expect you to dress well for her.