If she can accept me for who I am and what I believe, knowing that I'll never give her the eternal family she wants, then maybe we'll be ok. I think there's a chance you two can find a way to agree on a lifestyle and values. I have had to compromise more often than I would have liked. There's a reason so many Utahns are on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. I don't know why the system allows this type of treatment Not only do the residents feel like they "should" be giving every single bit of their energy, intellect, passion, soul to their residency programs, but they are told by their program directors, attendings and everyone else around them that they "must". You can't reason with fanatics, and you got one. Love and support them just as you would if your husband was a carpenter. As for having children, expect to be a single parent. If you really need me, you better believe I'm going to be scrambling to find others to cover my patients so I can leave, but it's going to take some time to get things straight at work first. Part of me wants to say Yes!!.
Once she realizes you won't join and she can't get married in the temple, then I suspect everything will be over. I'm in the exact same pulling-out-my-hair situation that you are. I am the same good faithful woman I always was, just on a different path than I ever expected, one full of insights and blessings I never knew could exist. This was hugely disappointing for him and created some very tense times. I suggest to run as it will not get better. And you know what. This is the type of doctrine that Joseph rejected and so have the leaders of the church. I have rediscovered what I love about the church but choose not to attend or participate.
He wants things to be low key for now. On the plus side though, after you leave the church, you'll get to spend the remainder of your days bashing it on Reddit. You have to make the decision as to what you want your home and your children to have in that home. The two of you can get married in the temple and live together forever for eternity.
This is tough enough when the kids are babies, but when they're older - teenagers - you'll get to tackle all of the hormone-fueled angst, drama, school difficulties, homework, school activities, and be the scapegoat when the kids get mad at you. I have a small child home full time with me, millions of miles away from any family. If your heart longs for children, a family and love- why should you stop yourself holding out for some mystical Mormon man to swoop you off your feet. I think I handle the lonliness a little better than most because I was an only child and like having my alone time. You aren't engaged or married or anything, you can't just know that she won't see the light and remain crazy Mormon forever. My Buddhist husband likes Mormons and even going to church. So if you feel like you both are getting serious, then talk to your girlfriend in time and sort this issue out. When my nomo husband does go to church we discuss the talks.